June Huey

My 6th sense is usually quite accurate. When something bad is about to happen, my 6th sense would warn me.

Few days ago, when I was having lecture I sense that something bad will happen and it can go really really bad. Anyway in the end I left the lecture hall before the lecture even started. It was going to rain heavily so I skipped. =P

I don't know why but my 6th sense is telling me that and be careful because something bad could happen.

Yesterday I made someone angry. She was so furious (is the word I should use). I was terrified because my 6th sense is correct! -.- No wonder few days ago when I look at that person, my 6th sense keep telling me that both of you might experience some friendship problem. *sigh*

And I ignore it because I told myself how could (let's use X to conceal this person's identity) X and I are going to have any problem? I mean she's the type of person who has bubbly personality and the most friendly person that can never get angry easily. How could something bad happen between us?

Lemme tell you, going through fundraising was hell, hell, hell but I am willing to experience that and x10. The last thing that I want to experience in my life is friendship problems. Having friendship problem is the worst scenario that could ever happen in my life. Nothing worst can compare to friendship problems.

I don't know what to do now but I've apologize and she wouldn't listen.

Today, I have another friend who knows the whole situation and she gave some advices for me. I am so grateful that even though in such a difficult timing God sent an Angel to look after me.

I was blank when I saw X. I don't know whether I should talk to her or what. I really don't but "she" gave me some advices which I have never even thought about it because I was busy with everything and I was having so many problems in my mind.

I really thank God for that. I don't know if it works but I am willing to give it a try. It might be successful or it might not. I am still believing that "the best is yet to come".

xo, June

Today the weather was very cold so are you. I don't know why you are acting like a * or maybe I am just too sensitive. Perhaps I am the *. Which one? I don't know.

I may be hot-tempered but I treasured each friendship that I made with anyone. If you hurt me once I will endure it and give you a second chance. I will work hard to let you feel my sincerity towards this friendship.

I suffered from a tremendous friendship breakdown or whatever you call it when I was 16. I will never forget how they treated me. As a friend, how could they even treat me like that? I don't know. Probably I am too stupid or naive to know it.

Every friendship that I made I will always have the phobia of my friends ignore or treat me like I am invisible.

I just hope you will know how much I treasured this friendship. You may not believe in "friends forever" but I will prove you wrong.

This post is dedicated to someone whom I really care about. Although we have just known one another for a few months but I am not ready to give up this friendship.

This post is also dedicated to some of my friends in SWC. So do not simply ignore or treat me like I am invisible hor. Hehe. ;)

xo, June

I am a person who throws tantrum easily. I get angry real fast if things doesn't go the way I want it to be. Yesterday there were two situations which really tested my anger kao kao.

As I had mentioned just now, I am a person who throws tantrum easily but today I manage to control my anger and avoid all the arguments that would've happen if I don't control my temper.

What I am trying to tell here is, no matter how angry you are either you have reached your limit or you're just too stress out or etc, try to control your temper. Arguments would have happen if I don't control my temper and I hate arguments.

If I were to have simply throw my tantrum I am sure it will affect the people around me. So, try to control your temper. Alright? It is a very good exercise for us to become more patience. Lol.

And, I wouldn't have made it if is not because of God. When I flash back to the situation where I believe God tested my anger I was thinking how did I manage not to throw my tantrum? Lol. Amazing. It must be the Holy Spirit is with me.

P/S : This doesn't mean that I won't throw my temper through blog or twitter. It only applies on real life situation like you're facing that person if you know what I mean. =P

xo, June

This post is dedicated to someone. I hope he knows how sorry I am for causing him to be so troublesome.

I am sorry if I am asking too many details.

I am sorry if I am a slow learner.

I am sorry if I want to make sure the correct amount and cause you to be so frustrated towards me.

I am sorry if I am too dumb.

I am sorry for not having the artistic or creative talent.

I am sorry if you think I am not committeed enough.

I am sorry because sometimes you ask for help and I turn you down.

I am sorry because I am still learning.

I am sorry because this is my first time handling a huge event.

I am sorry for being an unefficient someone.

I am so so sorry because this is my first time handling a huge event. I have no experience at all at doing all these. If you THINK I am not committeed enough I can't say anything. I have give it all my best. Sometimes I turn you down is because I live far away and I can't sacrifice all my time for this. My purpose of coming to college is to study and doing this is just my part time job. I hope you understand that. I am just so sorry but I am trying to give my best and help out as much as I can. I am really sorry.

xo, June

This whole week humans from SBS SWC is trying their hardest to sell as many tickets as they can. If we didn't reach the target there will not be any prom night. Okay there is but it won't be a great one.

I was so happy because we have reach the target which means we have income for everything. =) God is great isn't He? I was so worried that we can't reach the target but we did.

After joining SWC for so many months I have learn a lot. I am still learning because there's always room for improvement. I really want to thank the seniors who had taught me, encourage me, advise me, etc. The experience that I got from joining SWC is priceless.

I am so grateful that I chose to stay (Okay, I know I have said it for like gazilions of times but I am still gonna say it). There is no word to describe how grateful I am to know everyone in SWC.

Prom night is coming. And I know stress is coming real soon too. I hope that I can go through it with God's guidance and wisdom.

I have just finish my coursework test. IOM was okay but ME was kind of bad but it's okay because this is just the first test. Gotta work harder for the next test. =)

xo, June

` Although ma is coming back but I don't feel any enthusiasm in myself. Don't know why.

` I don't know why the emo feeling that I used to experience is coming back again. I hate it!

` Every time when a meeting ends, I am feeling either happy or sad. There's no in between. It's either one and today I am sad. IDK why. *sigh*

` I still like him but I don't hope for anything. That's for sure.

` Assignments and courseworks! Gosh, I am experiencing so many things at a time and not forgetting prom night! =(

` I want to sleep now but my hair is still wet. -.-

` I am trying hard to be like everybody but I just can't. I am just me. The unique June. IDK why. Probably God wants me that way. =\

` Can I do it? Yea, I probably can with God's wisdom and guidance. =) Pray for me about that.

` I wanna move into hostel but I must think of a good way to persuade my aunt and ma. Hmmm.

` I shall end my random post here. Oh yea! TARCollege is having a School of Business Studies Prom Night or known as SBS Night. It's open for outsiders. So come and join us. Please do not hesitate to ask me for more details alright?

Nights everyone. It is already 12am.

xo, June

I went to college this afternoon to help out a little to set up the PnP booth for the SBS Prom Night which is on the 29th Nov 2009. I didn't do much though but I have tried my best to help out lor at least. =P

I manage to get into the train before the sky gets dark. I was thinking about something while I was on the way to the train station.

Anyway, sometimes when I am alone I get the chance to think of everything what is happening around me. I wonder why on earth does God wants me to go through something that I dislike?

I don't know. If God knows that it is impossible for IT to happen then He should put a stop to it. Give me some signs but instead, God is giving me some really confusing signs. -.-

I am confused. I don't know what God is trying to tell me! Pfff~ I have so much experiences already. I had enough. I don't need another one to make a fool out of myself.

That is why I myself put a stop to it but everytime when I put a stop to it God will definitely do something and made me confused. My feelings is so mixed now. Lol. I don't know what to feel. I really don't.

I just hope that I won't hope for anything to happen because I know it is impossible. =) Let's pray hard that God won't make me confused already.

xo, June

Edited : I know everyone is not perfect so am I. He made me pissed but I have decided to forgive him just like my LORD Jesus Christ forgives me for all the sins that I have done.

xo, June

Assignments, courseworks and prom night cramp in one month which is d' month of NOVEMBER! *sigh* I am hoping that I can cope with everything despite all the assignments and courseworks.

Busyness... November is indeed the month of busyness.

xo, June

I have this old habit since I was 16. When I have a lot of stuff running in my mind I will start to eat. Eating somehow will help me to release some stress and I know very well that it is not a good habit. A very bad actually.

When I was 15 I was slimmer. I was not as fat as when I was 16 going to 17. I start to eat when I find myself having lots of stuff running in my mind. I have gained so much weight when I was 17.

I gain more and more weight as I was reaching 18. After my SPM, I told myself that I want to lose some weight and I succeded. Lost a few pounds at least. I am proud of that because I thought I can never lose weight until I die. -.-

Sadly, few months after college started, my old habit is coming back. I have so many stuff in my mind and I started eating like nobody else's business. It's really sad that now only I realize that.

All the hardwork that I have been doing has gone -poof- just like that.

From today onwards I must start to reduce. Reduce for the sake of my own health at least. Yup! I should do it now. =)

P/S : Thank you Yii for reminding me. =) You're a true friend indeed!

xo, June

Few months back after taking SPM, I have no idea what I want to do. Either college or form 6. Actually I wanted to do form 6 rather than going to college to get a diploma. Idk why. Maybe I am not ready for college yet.

But today I chose TARC. Studying in TARC is probably the best thing that could ever happen to me in my life. I get to know a bunch of crazy friendly people that I don't get the chance to know when I was in lame ass high school.

To be honest, I hated high school. Studying in high school gave me a lot of hard times and misery. That was probably the worst period in my life. I don't have much friends while I was in high school.

I really thank God today that I am so happily studying in TARC. Yes, there're a lot hard times too while studying in TARC but hey, at least I have a bunch of friends who makes me laugh and well, do a lot of stuff together. =)

I am so thankful that I chose TARC. I am so thankful that I chose the right course with the right group of friends. I am so thankful that I have joined SWC and although there are some time that I want to quit but in the end, I chose to stay. I am so thankful to GOD for everything that He has blessed me.

Thank you LORD for everything that You have done for me. Because of you, I have made the right choice. Amen.

xo, June

*sigh* I can't do it. It takes some time for me to do it. I am so disappointed that I can't do it! =( Actually I am upset with myself that I can't do it.

I am still the idiot, stupid and naive June. Nothing can change the fact. What I can do is to give myself some time. One day I will be able to do it. +u to me!

P/S : I am extremely jealous now. God knows why. *sigh =(

xo, June

I am gonna forget him. No, I must. I am officially erasing him from my mind. I am determine to do so. I don't want to suffer any heartache anymore. I have other priorities in my life other than just... Well, I am not gonna post anything about him from this moment onwards. I am not gonna think about him anymore.

xo, June

Let me say this straight up to your face. Life is not perfect. You can't have everything. Life is life. It can never be perfect.

Be contented with what you have and stop those shit noncense saying that "I don't have this, I don't have that, wish I am richer, yada yada" or you're saying it indirectly. Doesn't matter to me.

I am so not sorry if you're offended by this post because I can't stand it when people keep complaining about their life while their life is so much better than those who are so unlucky ones.

xo, June

When I encountered problems in my life, the first thing on my mind was praying. Let me tell you one thing. Prayer is really powerful and I really mean it.

This year I had encountered countless problems in my life and sometimes I felt so hopeless. I felt like there's no hope in whatever situation I am facing.

I started praying about my problems to God. God never fail me although sometimes I would be so angry to God and wondering why He has to put me in such a difficult situation.

My God is an amazing God. He is great. He answered all my prayers when I felt like there's no hope. The best thing that could happen to me is when I pray to God and at the end of the day, He answered all my prayers.

The feeling is just indescribable. It felt so sweet. I love the feeling. =)

xo, June

My results are out and ta-da. =D I can't stop smiling. I didn't expect myself to pass Quantitative Studies but I just did. After taking the Quantitative Studies paper that day I thought and I am prepared to re-sit this subject because I have no confident at all to pass this subject.

I really thank God for that. If it's not His will, I wouldn't have made it. This result may not be the best result compare to the others who scored many A's but I am contented with my result. =)

Thank YOU Lord! Amen~ ^^

P/S : C- is fail and I got C for Quantitative Studies. I am probably the luckiest girl alive. ^^

xo, June

` Currently in love with Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield.

` Results are coming out tomorrow (Wednesday). I am so nervous and worried right now. =x

` I've heard a lot of rumours about everyone in college. Interesting enough for me spread around. *evil grins* Just kidding la. Hehe.

` I hope I can cope with my studies and SWC. Assignments and tests are coming not to mention SBS Night too. I am worried that I can't pass it all up on time and I'm worried that I couldn't do well for the big event. Worry, worry and worry.

` I've actually told one of my seniors that I like him. Lol. I guess I am crazy. Why do I even do such thing and knowing that the senior is very close with him. I trusted that senior actually and I need someone to listen to all my problems and understand what am I going through. Although I can tell my friends about my problems but they wouldn't understand because they're not in the same situation like the senior and I do.

` Mama is coming back soon. I am excited I guess. Hehe. God knows why I am excited.

` I have a lot of lectures and tutorials to catch up. I didn't do any tutorials during the fundraising week.

That's all I guess.

xo, June

I like him.

I wanted to quit it so that I won't see him as often as I do now.

I am very sensitive when someone else's name is the same as his.

I am so dumb.

Why can't I stick to what I've promise to myself before college started?

I don't know.

Sometimes I just hate myself for liking anybody.

Friends told me it's okay to like a person but I tell you, to me those are bullshit.

I can't like anyone because in the end I am the one who's gonna suffer.

I don't know what to do now.

I know that it is impossible but still I want to fall for him.

Idiot me, stupid me, naive me.

Sometimes I just want to slap myself and erase the picture of him from my freaking brain.

If only there's such technology in this world I would be the first to buy it. -.-

xo, June

- I thought we were close but I was wrong. Stupid me. I thought after having that conversation with you, we could get closer but I am so fudging wrong. -.-

.. Why God has to put me into this? HE knows that I like him! HE knows that if I don't see him that often, I wouldn't have fall for him. I suck at controlling my feelings for someone. No matter how hard I tried to control it I would fail miserably. *sigh*

.. One blink I've been freaking liking him for five months.

.. If only I've never join it, everything would be so simple. I would still continue to live my life as an ordinary college student. Nothing to worry about. NOTHING!

.. If only God don't gives me hope. IF and only IF! Damn!

~ I thought after working with you, you are different from what I think you are but I am wrong. You are just some plain * that I know.

~ I can never bitch about you because you got so many people backing you up. If I bitch something about you and my life in a place would be ruin.

~ Why life has to be like this? Two person doing a job. X do all the job and Y got all the credits. Fuck.

*  Should I quit? Or should I face the challenges that are coming and preserver?

I'm still thinking and I've been praying about it. God please help me. ='(

xo, June

Finally the fundraising has over. I was tired and I fall sick because of this. I overworked and I hadn't have enough of sleep. It is toturing if a person didn't have enough of sleep and freaking work the whole day.

It was a great experience but I am not satisfied with the result. I am the losing team but it wasn't about losing to another team. It was about losing to myself.

Anyway I was relieve that it has over. Doing this fundraising it's like one person doing a 10 person job. It can never be successful. I am exhausted and I'm sure those who had contributed felt the same way as I do.

I was very upset with a few person during this fundraising for some reason. Not gonna eloborate it here. Everyday I hope this fudging thing can over and finally the day has come.

I am so relieve. I sacrifice my sleep because of this. I didn't listen to what my lecturer had taught for the whole week because by the time I enter their class I was exhausted. All I want is to sleep.

Along the way, I've met some new friends. So this fundraising is actually not a bad one. I've gained some experience and although the result is not what we've expected but I've learn something from it. Failure is not the end of the world. I can actually learn something from it.

Next time, if I encounter this kind of problem I know how to deal with the situation. =) So in conclusion, fundraising was not completely a bad one. Hehe.

xo, June

This is the second day for our fundraising. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I want to quit just like that but I know I can't. I will never be able to do it. Yesterday was a disaster. I was sad and disappointed with everything including myself. The sales was... *sigh*

It is not as easy as I thought to do a fundraising especially you have to do everything by yourself without any experienced adult helping us. It is tough. Today's fundraising was much better I'd say compare to yesterday's one. Thank God for that. =)

There are so many times I thought of quiting the fundraising just like that but I can't do it because I know I have to finish up what I've started. I believe in God that all of us in the fundraising team can pull this through. =)

Three more days to go. Let's pray and hope everything would turn out good for the next three days. God bless us.

xo, June

I've been so busy with fundraising this week. Meetings, decoration, food testing, yada yada. Anyway I want to thank Amy especially because she has help me for the deco and she's not even part of SWC. Thank YOU! =) I was quite lonely for some reason but Amy was there when I needed her. =D

I want to thank Ivy and my senior Bong Yang too because of them the decoration has partially completed! Hehe. Thank YOU! And also I want to thank my team mate, Gary the leader for "Wai Sek Tong", Lewis, Chris, Chong Lam and those who has contributed for the fundraising. Thanks a bundle. =)

Fundraising is gonna start tomorrow so another hectic week to come. We are having this fundraising for our SBS Night. It's gonna be a huge event therefore we need lots and lots of money to make this event a successful one.

I had a few heart attacks today but thank God everything went smoothly. God will make a way where there seems to be no way. =) All I need to do is to have faith in Him because I know He will be there to help me out.

Apart from the hectic week, yesterday an unexpected guest drop by my house. They are Niki and Desmond. I'm really happy with both of your company. I've been so stress out this week and both of you drop by and talk to me. I kind of felt carefree at that very moment. So you guys had really help me a lot. Thanks for dropping by. =)

Tomorrow we shall do our best to raise fund for our SBS Night! Either you're from "Wai Sek Tong" or you're from GG, our aim is the same so do our best!

Cheers~

xo, June

...in hostel. What do you think it is? Hmp?

Yesterday night I overnight in the hostel to finish up the decoration for the board for our fundraising. Started from 10pm or 11pm something and ended at 2am++. Went back to my friend's room and we had a nice chat about everything and anything. We talked until 4am++.

Finally I told her let's go for a walk around the hostel since I'm not tired nor sleepy at all. Settled down at one table because the weather was too cooling. I love it outside. Hehe~ We talk and talk and talk like nobody else's business.

Suddenly a freak appear out of no where (kidding XD). Lol. It's a friend of mine from SWC. That time was about 5am++? So anyway he join into our conversation. He just came back from experimenting some of the product that we're gonna sell for our fundraising.

We had a good talk and suddenly he talked to me about something. I didn't realize it until he told me about it. *sigh* In conclusion, now I have to think twice of which to choose again. The worldly world or the Godly world. I'm still thinking about it. God knows it is impossible for me to choose both so I have to make a decision now.

It is hard to make the decision. I don't know which to choose. If he told me earlier about something then I would have definitely choose the Godly world without even hesitating about it but something happen and now I seem to love the worldly world. It's not that I dislike the Godly world but... *big sigh*

Anyway, three of us talk like there's nobody else's business. Lol~ I get to know him better. It's a good thing. =) Our conversation ended at 7am++. I saw a lot of students woke up and exercise.

So the whole night I didn't sleep. I went back to her room and slept until 9am++ then I went back home and sleep again. Tiring weih. 4pm++ I need to go to college again because 6pm I'm having a meeting. The meeting ended at 8pm++.

Now I'm so tired. Cheers and you know what I will do. Nights.

xo, June

We had a meeting today. It was for our fundraising one. When I arrived not many people showed up. I thought they won't make it on time but they will still make it so it didn't really bother me at first.

As the meeting progresses I find that some of them didn't even come for the meeting and some of us called some of them. Guess what? They didn't answer our phone calls.

I was so pissed. Effing pissed. There was this guy, let's use Y to conceal this person's identity. Y called me to come and he said it is compulsory to attend this meeting since the fundraising is next week. In the end he himself didn't showed up. -.-

Anyway, the whole meeting was still okay although many didn't showed up and we've got so many things that are yet to be done. I guess our competitor is well prepared than us.

I thought since this is the last week that we got the chance to summarise everything and everybody should have showed up but sadly many of them didn't turned up.

Whatever excuses that they gave or they DIDN'T give, it doesn't matter now. Let's pray that we won't screw the fundraising thingy up. =)

I wanna sleep now. My eyes are gonna drop at any time. *yawn* Nights~

xo, June

Things are getting better between us. I don't want to screw things up. I love the way it is now. I know I couldn't ask for more although some time I would really hope for more.

I'm trying so hard to hide my true feelings from everyone. I can't and I chose not to share how I feel about X to my friends even to my close friends. It is too risky to do so. I don't want history to repeat just like two years ago.

I dreamt about something few days ago. It is so scary. I still remember it until today. It freaks me out and I woke up straight away. It was his girl friend that I dreamt about. X's girl friend told me that she knows how I feel and told me don't even think about it. I told her that I didn't hope for more and I don't intend to do anything. Before I left (woke up) I wished them they could be together and happy forever.

What kind of dream is that? After that dream, I keep ignoring how I feel towards X. It is hard to do so but I must try my best to do it. As I had said, I don't want to screw things up between us and I really love the way it is now.

xo, June